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If irreconcilable is true then divorce is definitely a brave stance

Divorce – It is neither a mistake nor a crime

Divorce is a better choice than death (suicide) when self-esteem is trampled upon. Do you know when the mind hurts the most? It’s a pain in the heart when we think that we don’t return even a fraction of the love and consideration that we give to our partner. There are people who get married after being in love for years. Their thought is that they have all these years of experience, don’t we know better?  So, there will be no problems. But not so. Never assume that you understand someone completely. No matter how familiar we are, when the condition or situation changes, we see a different face of them. There are two factors that make a person into a completely different person, the first one is life experiences and the other is circumstances. Then arises a series of problems and recriminations begin. Although the inconsistencies in married life are applicable to both people, it seems that it affects girls more.

Divorce is a more beautiful decision than death

A word to girls. Never think that married life is heaven. Sometimes the first few days or months are like that. After a few months or years, when children, busy work, financial difficulties, and life problems arise, the wedding seems unnecessary. But by that time, she or he would be in a state of helplessness. In fact, those who get married and start a new life never think about divorce. But after a while, he or she hates life. When a girl feels that she does not even have her own parents, the feeling of why she should live becomes a motivation to end life. Dear parents, if she is unable to adjust after marriage don’t ever tell her that you have got married, our responsibility is over, etc. Here divorce is a better choice than death.

Divorce is resistance and the beginning of a new life

There are people who frown when they hear divorce as if she or he had committed some great crime. If they can’t adapt, there’s no point in living a life of misery. How many lives were denied freedom and confined to the interior of the house? Some are living hellish lives only for their children. It is said that how we treat others, they will treat us back, but sometimes it seems that is not the case. What every human want is to be considered and valued by others, especially in a husband and wife relationship. If irreconcilable is true then divorce is definitely a brave stance. If a relationship is falling apart, both parties have a responsibility to fix it. If one of the partners has taken ten steps, the other must move forward at least one step.

One has to compromise a little bit to keep married life from falling apart. There is nothing wrong in giving a little bit down, bend we must but never crawl. Because that goodness can be mistaken for weakness. When we bend over and over again, we may crack one day or people may roughshod us if we keep on doing so. If this is repeated, people often take them for granted and stop appreciating them. Not only that, but once one is bent, then it is often repeated and there is no escape from it. If you cannot adjust in any way then divorce is better and never attempt suicide. Divorce is braver a step to live life than suicide.

Causes of conflicts in married life?

What are the causes of conflicts in married life? There are many reasons and some of them are…

  • Husbands and wives get disturbed and angry when something isn’t up to their expectations or if they fail to do a job that is expected from them.
  • When a wife does not get the respect and love she deserves as a wife or the respect he deserves as a husband, the feeling of separation becomes stronger.
  • Love and consideration are very important in married life.
  • Although these are just words, the foundation of married life is love, consideration, and mutual trust.
  • If these things are lost, the marriage life will be out of order.
  • Love and sincerity are two of the most precious things that couples want from each other.
  • But what can be done, there are marriage lives that there is not even a speck of these two.
  • If a husband or wife realizes his or her spouse doesn’t value him or her, they become upset and their happiness disappears.
  • Mutual trust is the foundation of a marriage relationship, if it is broken, the relationship will fall apart.
  • It can be upsetting for the husband or wife when family members or friends spread lies about them.
  • It is painful that the world believes the lies others tell about us rather than the truth we speak.
  • In situations where the husband takes credit for the wife’s work and vice versa, conflicts can arise.
  • There are times when husbands or family members do not receive the food they like, or they are not served properly, or they are not served at the right time, leading to disturbances.
  • Everyone makes jokes from time to time, but sometimes problems arise as a result of husbands making fun of their wives or wives making fun of their husbands.
  • Now let’s talk about friendships.
  • Extramarital affairs often disrupt family life.
  • It’s always good to have a friend to help or talk to even in the middle of the night.
  • But if that friend is someone else’s wife or husband, be careful.
  • Our friendship should not destroy our family or that of others.
  • Alcohol is a villain that destroys married life.
  • Many people have been divorced due to their husbands’ alcoholism.
  • Excessive drinking is a harm to the family and society.
  • A person who constantly drinks alcohol destroys not only his health but also the happiness and peace of his family.
  • For some, the reason for conflicts is due to low dowry, while others have other reasons.

After the divorce

There are those who enter into a new family life after divorce. Some of them are living very happily. For them, it is the feeling of escaping from hell and reaching heaven. But some people like to live alone. Because they have had and experienced such terrible experiences. They are afraid of a married life again. If you ask them if they are happy after the divorce, the truth is that not everyone is happy. Divorce may make some people happier, but research shows that some people who divorce are less happy and more psychologically distressed than those who remain married.  Couples may have more tension after a divorce than when they were married because divorce can bring up new conflicts.

 If they have children, it is very difficult for them. The psychological effects of divorce on children are terrible. There are many emotional disturbances that children face when their parents get a divorce. Children’s lives are shattered when parents separate for their peace and happiness. Often, they are helpless. There are many children who are worried and do not know what to do. They experience severe psychological distress due to helplessness, anger, confusion, and sadness. Embarrassment may paralyze them. Many children are embarrassed to say that their parents are divorced.

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There are people who only think of their children and keep all their sadness inside and live only for them.

A word to parents

Teach girls as much as they can. If she is not good at studies, then bring her to the field of her interest. She should be able to get a job and stand on her own feet. The seriousness of it should be explained. Marriage, whether it is arranged or not don’t blame her if she can’t adapt. Try to calm her down, understand clearly what the problem is, support her and shade her, don’t leave her to die, and don’t close the door in front of her. In fact, it is the woman’s tolerance and patience that are the reason why many families do not break up.

There are moments we cry no matter how hard we try not to cry. Mainly, when those who were thought to be so intimate start to ignore us it becomes unbearable. It is easy to isolate and blame but not so easy to put together. Parents should be the ones who stand by and wipe the tears instead of blaming and filling their eyes. Some girls’ lives end up on a tightrope because they have parents who think that if a married girl comes to their own house after marriage, what will the locals say and what will their relatives say? Dear parents, don’t let your girls (children) die in fear of the natives.

Enable children to live independently. When it comes to the situation of girls, sometimes we feel sad. If she says she likes someone, her family may not like that guy and they will not agree. If a girl says that she doesn’t like the guy who comes with a love request, he might even risk her.  If the marriage is arranged by the family, sometimes her husband and family may endanger her. This is what is seen in society now. That is the reason why it is said that the case of girls is more difficult. Even though they have family members, friends, and relatives, they will feel as if they are alone and then they will have a feeling of why they are living. When the intensity of isolation reaches its peak, there is no second thought. That is often what happens.

Marriage life can be made sweeter and more beautiful

Flexibility in approach and resilience in life are hallmarks of every successful marriage life. So, don’t be one who doesn’t budge from the declared position whether it is a wife or a husband. Always leave some room for adjustment and try to accommodate your partner’s position as much as possible. A compromise should be attempted in the better interests of overall peace and harmony in our family life. But that compromise should not hurt our conscience. As someone said, if we can’t change the world, we must change ourselves, and if we can’t defeat them, we must join them.

Our daily experiences are the raw material we use to weave our marriage life’s carpet. Keep in mind that marriage life is made more beautiful by simple designs. The life of both husband and wife along with their kith and kin adds color and texture to it and makes it more beautiful and attractive.

Sometimes one of the partners must apologize and compromise for the sake of the family. But it must not be done under any circumstances if this compromise would dishonor the person’s continued existence. However, we should not bend and bend beyond a point in our husband and wife relationship. Do not crawl even if it bends. Don’t compromise your dignity and pride.

We should always be concerned about improving our family relationships. Husband and wife should think that I should be the first to be flexible, apologetic, and compromise. Both parties must be willing to let go of the past if they can give a broken relationship a chance to survive. Not everyone is good all the time. But there is always some good in everyone. We should never make a fixed image of anyone, for every saint has a past, just as every sinner has a future. Think about your own weaknesses and shortcomings once in a while and you will have the strength to go down to your partner’s feet.

There is only one life

We all only have one life and that life is a journey. In that journey, after childhood, old age, and sleep, there is only a short time. Has anyone thought of that? Let’s try to love each other that little time. There are pains, sorrows, accusations, and tears, that are true. But if possible, wipe away all the tears and smile, and move on. That is family life or that should be family life. In this world, there is no guarantee that if you sleep at night, you will wake up in the morning. There is no guarantee that I will be alive or well in the next second. Then why so much fuss?

What everyone wants is to live with self-respect and self-esteem. When our self-esteem is trampled and humiliated, we break down. It is better to stand in dignified places than to stand supplicating in neglected palaces. Be present where appropriate and stay away when not. But some stubbornness should be forgotten, some grievances should be settled, and some misunderstandings should be resolved.

Any person can change his life drastically by changing his attitude, we just have to be willing to do it. Remember, love is not something to ask for and buy, if you ask for it you will never get it and it will also be ridiculous. Love comes through giving. In fact, it is an echo of ourselves. Patience is also very important in married life. Learn to forgive. But what needs to be responded must be responded to. If you don’t react and be patient, you don’t know how life will break down.

There are partners who live as if they don’t know anything

There are some partners who live as if they know nothing when there is trouble in their family life and do not take a single step or help. There are those who live like this and are devastated when they find out that they have been cheated on by their partner. When one of the partners takes ten steps forward, the other must move forward at least one step. Thinking of the family, they are enduring with the children in mind.

Don’t mistake their meekness and humility as a sign of weakness who often endures on such occasions. The saddest thing is that being a good husband or wife is like being a goalkeeper.  No matter how many goals they save, their partner and family members will remember only the one they missed.  

With regular compromises, our entire character changes negatively over time due to our inability to maintain a balance in our lives. So, when we decide to compromise and adjust, it should be with the larger values ​​and goals in mind, otherwise, we lose our dignity, and our character also changes.

Final words

This is not to promote divorce. No one encourages divorce. Divorce is a good thing, it is the only solution, not to be understood like that. When you realize that you can’t live together in any way, when you feel that you can’t bear it anymore, when you decide to live or die, then just understand that divorce is a better option than that. Make the decision to go ahead by hurdling the obstacles. If you are always thinking about what others will think, then you will always go backward and never move forward.

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